Ramblings of a mom and a teacher during a global pandemic (originally published on 4/27/2020)
"5th grade graduation is online this year".
She just came in and told me this, matter of factly, but laced with the bitter disappointment that she's become all too familiar with. Her expressive eyes flat.
Sleepaway camps, group projects, plays, concerts...each rite of passage for my 10 year old child is taken away.
These are trivial things we tell ourselves, in light of the bigger picture. People are getting very sick. People are dying. We need to stay in place for the good of mankind.
Yes,
but also,
there is the way your daughter's nostrils quiver when she rests on your lap, and you know that the tears are close behind.
And the anger she sends your way, raw and confused, because she doesn't know how to navigate this.
And the lazy mornings tinged with dread for a day of online learning.
And the computers, those wretched beasts. I'm profoundly grateful for them and yet feel a wicked disdain for how they have overtaken our lives. Each day, each person tethered to it, hoping to feel the empty connection of familiar faces transmitted and translated through pixels on a screen.
We miss each other. We desperately miss each other.
And so yes, the virus is scary, and we need to do what we need to do to be healthy.
But as we pile on assignments and tasks and learning standards and rubrics let's stop for a mere moment and remember
Parents are grieving. Teachers are grieving. Our children are grieving.
Grief doesn't come in gradations. Though circumstances causing grief can be vastly different, the experience is the same. It's a pain in your chest. A desire to fix it. Arrows of angry words sent into the world with no intended target. Confusion at the muddled nature of your own emotions.
As a teacher I feel little desire to assign work. Instead I want to help students connect to gratitude, curiousity, connection. But there is a track to learning, a timing to reach the goals needed get to the next level. But what are the goals now? Is this a temporary glitch or should we expect them to be forever changed?
As a mom I want to shut these damned computers off and go outside and find beautiful things. I want to wrap my arms in love around my children and help them understand that there is always something to be grateful for.
It feels that overnight the lessons that we need to learn and to teach have completely shifted. It's a brave new world my friends.
She just came in and told me this, matter of factly, but laced with the bitter disappointment that she's become all too familiar with. Her expressive eyes flat.
Sleepaway camps, group projects, plays, concerts...each rite of passage for my 10 year old child is taken away.
These are trivial things we tell ourselves, in light of the bigger picture. People are getting very sick. People are dying. We need to stay in place for the good of mankind.
Yes,
but also,
there is the way your daughter's nostrils quiver when she rests on your lap, and you know that the tears are close behind.
And the anger she sends your way, raw and confused, because she doesn't know how to navigate this.
And the lazy mornings tinged with dread for a day of online learning.
And the computers, those wretched beasts. I'm profoundly grateful for them and yet feel a wicked disdain for how they have overtaken our lives. Each day, each person tethered to it, hoping to feel the empty connection of familiar faces transmitted and translated through pixels on a screen.
We miss each other. We desperately miss each other.
And so yes, the virus is scary, and we need to do what we need to do to be healthy.
But as we pile on assignments and tasks and learning standards and rubrics let's stop for a mere moment and remember
Parents are grieving. Teachers are grieving. Our children are grieving.
Grief doesn't come in gradations. Though circumstances causing grief can be vastly different, the experience is the same. It's a pain in your chest. A desire to fix it. Arrows of angry words sent into the world with no intended target. Confusion at the muddled nature of your own emotions.
As a teacher I feel little desire to assign work. Instead I want to help students connect to gratitude, curiousity, connection. But there is a track to learning, a timing to reach the goals needed get to the next level. But what are the goals now? Is this a temporary glitch or should we expect them to be forever changed?
As a mom I want to shut these damned computers off and go outside and find beautiful things. I want to wrap my arms in love around my children and help them understand that there is always something to be grateful for.
It feels that overnight the lessons that we need to learn and to teach have completely shifted. It's a brave new world my friends.
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