What in the covid is happening (originally published on 4/26/2020)
I can't help but think there is something to be gained from this. This, this national pandemic. This 30something day into forced isolation. We all remember how life was before this all started. It's hard to not be profoundly amazed at how quickly everything can change. And is that really not something that we are supposed to get? Nothing lasts forever. People you adore will go away. Homes in which countless memories are made will be moved from. Loves that were rich with affection and adoration will slowly turn into forced conversations and uncomfortable presence. Your money. Your position of power. Your children. Your parents. Your beauty. This is the great cause of suffering....they will all go away.
This sounds depressing, but this unique time has really shone a light on how uncomfortable this realization can make people feel. People are hurting. They are lonely. They are scared. I join them at times; I suspect we all have visited upon these emotions. They are all a part of our experience, and this experience is a SHARED one. Forced to be apart makes us see how much we love each other, how dearly we miss the simple act of hugging, of sitting in a coffeeshop and having a meaningful conversation, gathering amongst friends and enjoying the incredible feeling of knowing you BELONG.
Without that, where and to whom do we belong? I've been thinking about this. Sure we belong to our families but where do we belong beyond even that?
I've decided that I belong on this Earth. There's no other statement that I can say with such certainty as I belong on this Earth. We are so connected, even without the physical presence of each other. The air we breath, the molecules of the dead, the oxygen from the trees, the pollen in the air, all swirling in a delicate dance, an exchange of particles, reorganizing, coming apart and reorganizing in yet some other form. We are exempt from none of it.
When my daughter was very young our precious cat died. So we put the cat in the ground and we planted a rose bush over it. We told her that Gabby would turn into the flowers. Then her aunt died, and we planted a rose bush for her. And when we told her that things that die turn into flowers, none of that was a lie. The mushroom that grows on a decaying plant, the bugs that feed on the mushroom, the animal that eats the bugs, the animals that eat the animals, the death of the animals, the exchange of carbon and oxygen, the minerals from our bodies, all of the molecules, dancing and creating with such eloquence that we barely even perceive it.
But I think we get it. When we are not mindlessly going through our days, ordering takeout and putting the plastic in the trash, watching our phones while we eat, taking the inconveniences of our lives and putting them away so we do not have to focus on them....when we stop. When we observe. When we mindfully make the choices of our lives THEN we can get the big picture. But it takes turning it all off to really get it. It takes diving into the present moment of NOW to fully understand that everything that we know to be beautiful is only beautiful because we are giving it our attention. Think about that. Everything.
This unique time on this planet has some very real challenges, but there is also so much to be grateful for. Knowing that all things eventually go away, think about how completely and utterly lucky you are that you are living on this Earth with all of the people that you love....RIGHT NOW. These people will not always be there. You will not always be strong. Your lungs may not always be clear. You will wrinkle and age. You may lose your sight, or your hearing. All of that is on the table. But not today! And I think getting that is the biggest fucking gift in the world.
Times may be hard, but my cup is simply overflowing.
This sounds depressing, but this unique time has really shone a light on how uncomfortable this realization can make people feel. People are hurting. They are lonely. They are scared. I join them at times; I suspect we all have visited upon these emotions. They are all a part of our experience, and this experience is a SHARED one. Forced to be apart makes us see how much we love each other, how dearly we miss the simple act of hugging, of sitting in a coffeeshop and having a meaningful conversation, gathering amongst friends and enjoying the incredible feeling of knowing you BELONG.
Without that, where and to whom do we belong? I've been thinking about this. Sure we belong to our families but where do we belong beyond even that?
I've decided that I belong on this Earth. There's no other statement that I can say with such certainty as I belong on this Earth. We are so connected, even without the physical presence of each other. The air we breath, the molecules of the dead, the oxygen from the trees, the pollen in the air, all swirling in a delicate dance, an exchange of particles, reorganizing, coming apart and reorganizing in yet some other form. We are exempt from none of it.
When my daughter was very young our precious cat died. So we put the cat in the ground and we planted a rose bush over it. We told her that Gabby would turn into the flowers. Then her aunt died, and we planted a rose bush for her. And when we told her that things that die turn into flowers, none of that was a lie. The mushroom that grows on a decaying plant, the bugs that feed on the mushroom, the animal that eats the bugs, the animals that eat the animals, the death of the animals, the exchange of carbon and oxygen, the minerals from our bodies, all of the molecules, dancing and creating with such eloquence that we barely even perceive it.
But I think we get it. When we are not mindlessly going through our days, ordering takeout and putting the plastic in the trash, watching our phones while we eat, taking the inconveniences of our lives and putting them away so we do not have to focus on them....when we stop. When we observe. When we mindfully make the choices of our lives THEN we can get the big picture. But it takes turning it all off to really get it. It takes diving into the present moment of NOW to fully understand that everything that we know to be beautiful is only beautiful because we are giving it our attention. Think about that. Everything.
This unique time on this planet has some very real challenges, but there is also so much to be grateful for. Knowing that all things eventually go away, think about how completely and utterly lucky you are that you are living on this Earth with all of the people that you love....RIGHT NOW. These people will not always be there. You will not always be strong. Your lungs may not always be clear. You will wrinkle and age. You may lose your sight, or your hearing. All of that is on the table. But not today! And I think getting that is the biggest fucking gift in the world.
Times may be hard, but my cup is simply overflowing.
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